EXTORTION!
This should probably be another of my "Why I'm a Terrible Person" series (YES IT WILL BE A SERIES) but you know me.
No consistency! Ever. :^)
Today I was reminded of my youth. My early years as a criminal.
No, but seriously, I was talking with my family today about how much pocket money I got when I was little and they said they literally had to decrease the amount because they kept finding money in my room and apparently I was getting too rich???
Thanks parents with your sick commie regime restricting me from the money I earned collecting wheat for the motherland (actually just putting my dirty clothes in the washing basket but still).
I had this rant at my parents, then spent the whole day wondering where I actually got all this apparent richness from? My parents gave me 50p a week. On a good week. And I haven't changed that much, I'm sure even when I was younger I was a compulsive buyer with no idea how to save money. I can just imagine now, 7 year old me eating a single crisp as a meal, dragging her body to the next payday; the next 50p.
So all day I couldn't work out how I possibly could have been rich. And then it hit me. My criminality all came rushing back. I used EXTORTION.
Basically, little Carenza used to trick her family out of their money.
Yes the evil started early.
I remember when I was like 8, my Dad lost his glasses, and as he's basically blind, this was a huge deal. The whole family was on high alert searching for his specs for weeks, in which he kept make bigger and bigger bribes. So his rewards for finding them began at a bar of chocolate but ended at £20, a meal out, a billion bars of chocolate, 17 cats, at least 2 cars. He eventually found the glasses himself so all of these rewards came to nothing, which was absolutely devastating, but it did have me an ideas...
A couple of weeks later, I saw his keys innocently laying alone on the kitchen surface.
Obviously I stole them and hid them in my room, then sat in waiting for the reward to increase...
I genuinely did this. On many occasions: keys, phone, glasses. Anything I could get a reward for I would nab. Criminal Carenza strikes again.
Another crime I was prone to, was again pointed towards my Dad.
One time my tooth came out and my mum was away so rather than telling her like I always had in the past, instead I told my Dad. Now my Dad is a lot less traditional than my mum so rather than telling me to "put in under your pillow for the tooth fairy" like her, he literally just gave me £1.
This kind of immediately ruined the magic, however it did have one positive outcome- he didn't take the tooth off me.
This meant I just had a tooth spare with nothing to do. Well that quickly changed.
This beautiful baby tooth became my weapon of mass deception.
I kept the tooth safe in my room and whenever my purse strings were feeling a little tight, I'd just whip it out and tell my Dad my tooth had just fallen out.
It was genius!
Though these show how awful I am as a person to con my own parents into giving me their hard earned money, I can't believe how clever these schemes were?!
So what we've really earned from this whole experience is that young Carenza was an evil genius.
I think we can see from other posts that I haven't fully grown out of this either.
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No consistency! Ever. :^)
Today I was reminded of my youth. My early years as a criminal.
No, but seriously, I was talking with my family today about how much pocket money I got when I was little and they said they literally had to decrease the amount because they kept finding money in my room and apparently I was getting too rich???
Thanks parents with your sick commie regime restricting me from the money I earned collecting wheat for the motherland (actually just putting my dirty clothes in the washing basket but still).
I had this rant at my parents, then spent the whole day wondering where I actually got all this apparent richness from? My parents gave me 50p a week. On a good week. And I haven't changed that much, I'm sure even when I was younger I was a compulsive buyer with no idea how to save money. I can just imagine now, 7 year old me eating a single crisp as a meal, dragging her body to the next payday; the next 50p.
So all day I couldn't work out how I possibly could have been rich. And then it hit me. My criminality all came rushing back. I used EXTORTION.
Basically, little Carenza used to trick her family out of their money.
Yes the evil started early.
I remember when I was like 8, my Dad lost his glasses, and as he's basically blind, this was a huge deal. The whole family was on high alert searching for his specs for weeks, in which he kept make bigger and bigger bribes. So his rewards for finding them began at a bar of chocolate but ended at £20, a meal out, a billion bars of chocolate, 17 cats, at least 2 cars. He eventually found the glasses himself so all of these rewards came to nothing, which was absolutely devastating, but it did have me an ideas...
A couple of weeks later, I saw his keys innocently laying alone on the kitchen surface.
Obviously I stole them and hid them in my room, then sat in waiting for the reward to increase...
I genuinely did this. On many occasions: keys, phone, glasses. Anything I could get a reward for I would nab. Criminal Carenza strikes again.
Another crime I was prone to, was again pointed towards my Dad.
One time my tooth came out and my mum was away so rather than telling her like I always had in the past, instead I told my Dad. Now my Dad is a lot less traditional than my mum so rather than telling me to "put in under your pillow for the tooth fairy" like her, he literally just gave me £1.
This kind of immediately ruined the magic, however it did have one positive outcome- he didn't take the tooth off me.
This meant I just had a tooth spare with nothing to do. Well that quickly changed.
This beautiful baby tooth became my weapon of mass deception.
I kept the tooth safe in my room and whenever my purse strings were feeling a little tight, I'd just whip it out and tell my Dad my tooth had just fallen out.
It was genius!
Though these show how awful I am as a person to con my own parents into giving me their hard earned money, I can't believe how clever these schemes were?!
So what we've really earned from this whole experience is that young Carenza was an evil genius.
I think we can see from other posts that I haven't fully grown out of this either.
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