Don't drink and do ANYTHING
We all know how drinking can affect a person, how it can change them into someone you feel you've never met before. Alcohol makes people sleepy, angry, horny, dancy and just downright crazy.
Unfortunately, I seem to fit into the latter category.
My name is Carenza Fleur.
And I am a crazy drunk.
How do I know this? Through the most traumatic, embarrassing, soul-destroying experience of my life.
THE BLUE CAKE INCIDENT
It all started at my boyfriend's house. I was spending the day at his then going out to a party with my friends so I got dressed into my clubbing clothes at his. I wore my favourite pink body-con dress with stilettos and felt amazing but immediately saw a flaw. As the dress was so tight, my knickers were on full show, no matter that they were a thong, they stood out like a sore thumb, so I made the executive decision just to ditch them.
I arrived at my friend's house for predrinks where we had a whale of a time doing shots of anything we could get our hands on until we were all drunk enough to dance.
We arrived at the club quite early so it was pretty dead but this also meant that the shots were cheap af. I wasn't 18 yet so I was using my sister's ID but they didn't seem to care - 5 sambucca shots for £5!
In case you were wondering, I spent £10.
I was dead.
Now, I can't actually remember what happened after those shots but here's what I gathered from my friends:
I asked the bartender for a job at that bar because I loved the Sambucca so much and she said "maybe, how old are you?". Even my drunk brain knew I couldn't say my real underage age so apparently I just stood staring at her for like a solid 5 minutes thinking before eventually saying "18?" and walking off.
Genius.
After clubbing, I was supposed to head to a house party down the road, so at 11 I started my trek down in my 7" heels to this house. I only left, however, after collecting as many free sweets and cakes as I could which I thought would be a great thank you gift to the host.
As my wobbly journey continued, I was dropping sweets left, right and centre until eventually I was left with a single blue-iced cupcake clenched between my fist.
The icing was pouring out between my knuckles when I made my first fall of the night into the gutter.
The blue cake fell with me, icing first but did this stop me? HELL NO
I kept charging on, determined to reach this house that I could barely see.
Eventually I arrived and found the host. I immediately collapsed in front of her, the pulp of the cake presented out to her. I passed out right there and then.
The next memory I have is waking up in the middle the lounge with biscuits balancing on my head (I found out later balancing party rings on my head when I was passed out became the game of the night). I got up to find my boyfriend when I tripped on my way to him into the kitchen.
This trip had me fall on my face onto the kitchen tiling with my legs wide open and dress gone.
See now I really wish I'd worn knickers, if only to have flashed those rather than my whole lower body...
The host quickly helped me up and I was carried to bed where I slept for the rest of the party until my boyfriend carried me into his dad's car where I promptly placed my feet on the dashboard of his brand new vehicle.
The final memory of that night was getting ready for bed with my boyfriend when he tried to take my jacket off and I suddenly stopped him.
I reached into my pocket and presented him with a stolen Refresher sweet.
"Look after my USB stick" I said, before passing out.
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Unfortunately, I seem to fit into the latter category.
My name is Carenza Fleur.
And I am a crazy drunk.
How do I know this? Through the most traumatic, embarrassing, soul-destroying experience of my life.
THE BLUE CAKE INCIDENT
It all started at my boyfriend's house. I was spending the day at his then going out to a party with my friends so I got dressed into my clubbing clothes at his. I wore my favourite pink body-con dress with stilettos and felt amazing but immediately saw a flaw. As the dress was so tight, my knickers were on full show, no matter that they were a thong, they stood out like a sore thumb, so I made the executive decision just to ditch them.
I arrived at my friend's house for predrinks where we had a whale of a time doing shots of anything we could get our hands on until we were all drunk enough to dance.
We arrived at the club quite early so it was pretty dead but this also meant that the shots were cheap af. I wasn't 18 yet so I was using my sister's ID but they didn't seem to care - 5 sambucca shots for £5!
In case you were wondering, I spent £10.
I was dead.
Now, I can't actually remember what happened after those shots but here's what I gathered from my friends:
I asked the bartender for a job at that bar because I loved the Sambucca so much and she said "maybe, how old are you?". Even my drunk brain knew I couldn't say my real underage age so apparently I just stood staring at her for like a solid 5 minutes thinking before eventually saying "18?" and walking off.
Genius.
After clubbing, I was supposed to head to a house party down the road, so at 11 I started my trek down in my 7" heels to this house. I only left, however, after collecting as many free sweets and cakes as I could which I thought would be a great thank you gift to the host.
As my wobbly journey continued, I was dropping sweets left, right and centre until eventually I was left with a single blue-iced cupcake clenched between my fist.
The icing was pouring out between my knuckles when I made my first fall of the night into the gutter.
The blue cake fell with me, icing first but did this stop me? HELL NO
I kept charging on, determined to reach this house that I could barely see.
Eventually I arrived and found the host. I immediately collapsed in front of her, the pulp of the cake presented out to her. I passed out right there and then.
The next memory I have is waking up in the middle the lounge with biscuits balancing on my head (I found out later balancing party rings on my head when I was passed out became the game of the night). I got up to find my boyfriend when I tripped on my way to him into the kitchen.
This trip had me fall on my face onto the kitchen tiling with my legs wide open and dress gone.
See now I really wish I'd worn knickers, if only to have flashed those rather than my whole lower body...
The host quickly helped me up and I was carried to bed where I slept for the rest of the party until my boyfriend carried me into his dad's car where I promptly placed my feet on the dashboard of his brand new vehicle.
The final memory of that night was getting ready for bed with my boyfriend when he tried to take my jacket off and I suddenly stopped him.
I reached into my pocket and presented him with a stolen Refresher sweet.
"Look after my USB stick" I said, before passing out.
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